Monday, January 02, 2006

The Anti-MySpace Manifesto

Let's continue on from my previous rant on the suckiness of petition sites...

MYSPACE SUCKS - a truly revolutionary petition. Soon it will reach 1 000 000 signatures and then the creators will march on the steps of their respective federal governments to get MySpace shut down. Why, with comments like this, how can they not succeed?

"i humped a squirrel and then had sex with it in the street n a bird shit on my leg n i licked it n put it up my ass"
"Im a Fag"
"myspace sucks hairy ball sacks, so fuck all u! N STICK A DICK UP UR BUTT!"
"im so nonconformist that im not gonna conform to this petition."
"myspace sucks hairy ball sacks, so fuck all u! N STICK A DICK UP UR BUTT!"
"Ya'll nigga's is stupid. The only reason you don't like my space is cause you to dumb to know how to use it. You proberbly don't even know what it's 4."
"FUCK MYSPACE!!!! SUM1 plz hack into that shit and destroy it!"
I decided to get right onto that request, namely "SUM1 plz hack into that shit and destroy it". , and after some Googling, I discovered this article on Kuro5hin: MySpace: A Place For Dolts. Apparently, MySpace is shittier than I ever imagined.
As you probably inferred, I am guilty of participating in this never ending bandwidth party online. It's popular for the same reason AIM became popular: it's trendy, computer-illiterate people can manage to make it "go", and consequently 'everyone else is using it'.
There are artifacts of past features where they used to be, saying "This feature no longer exists here. Go here instead." I think there are three or four of these just on the post-login page alone, and though it would be justifiable for the first week after the disappearance, they DON'T GO AWAY. I'm sure I could think of more with very little effort, but I'm going to leave it at this third and final damning trace of stupidity: the Extended Network feature.
You see, when you sign up for MySpace, you instantly have your first friend. You're immediately best buddies with the most popular person on MySpace: Tom. Now, to understand the stupidity of this, you have to understand that this is a social networking mechanism; if I'm friends with John and John is friends with Sally, then Sally is syllogistically my friend, and if I visit her profile it will tell me just that: "Sally is in your extended network". But if EVERYONE is friends with Tom, then there might as well not be an extended network feature at all, and he is defeating the purpose of his time and his website. Basically what I'm saying is, Tom is a dumbshit.
This has a whole bunch of info about a particular MySpace exploit. Apparently, there have been many others, too.

I decided to move on and look for other MySpace related sites, and found The Anti-MySpace Manifesto: Why MySpace Sucks And So Do You. This should provide an entertaining read, until I come back with my next post on MySpace. I'm working on a Weekend Web-style thing for it, unoriginal bastard that I am.

22 comments:

RockyB said...

You can't beat ragging on MySpace. It's just so much fun. To be honest, I set up CAMP more to see what enraged reactios I got than anything else ;)

splintax said...

Damn straight! Nice site, by the way :D

RockyB said...

Why thank you. Shame that MySpace has some people who can use google and decided to hack my forums :/

Oh well, only 3 days wirth of posts lost; and I've upgraded to the proper version of PhpBB now :P

splintax said...

In any case, I'm sure MySpace users get their accounts hacked far more frequently :P

Dorf Crew said...

AMEN for hacking myspace...lets fuck that shit up!

Anonymous said...

I am not friends with Tom. I am friends with others. Everyone is still in my Extended Network. My friends are in my Extended Network. Random users in other countries are in my Extended Network. I'm not sure what the purpose of the Extended Network feature is supposed to be.

splintax said...

I guess the "extended network" is just ALL of myspace. :/

Kill Myspace said...

Myspace sux for sure!
I swear, it'a all about who's the coolest, and who has the most friends. I mean, come the f*ck on, can you really keep up with 1000 friends? Get real. It's b*llsh*t. Not to mention half the chics on there are hoes, possibly including my GF. GRRRR... I HATE MYSPACE!

booby said...

i agree, myspace is poisoning the minds of our generation. when kids come home from school they don't read a book or do some hw or go play some sports or something productive. they sit at their comps and log into myspace. damn...u know its proven that 40% of college student's internet time is spent on myspace. 40%! they should be researching or soemthing...i don't know man but they gotta do something about that sh*t.

pity4thepious said...

Yes F*ck myspace its nothing but a popularity whorehouse!!!!
Help us tear it DOWN! one love.

Chey said...

Well, i used to luv myspace untill i heard of all these 40 year old guys comein to girls doors... its just wrong.

Matt Miller said...

I have nothing but beefs with this respective site (My Space, not this one) For instance, it is filled with pantywastes and douchebags that are popularity queens and trying to gain the many friendships they had in high school back. I recently created a band profile page on that site and for 9 days it was up and running fine until this morning when I went to log onto it and it had been deleted. I never claimed to be the band, nor did I make anything on the page that would clue even the most complete brain dead organism into it being run by the actual band. Just because I wanted to show the website and its millions of members what good music is and Im not in the actual band, I have my priveldges taken from me. Tom can suck my cock. Im sure he would like to, if you havent seen his profile pictures, take a look once. Im not anti gay or anything, so dont take that the wrong way. Im very smart with computers and tonite Im going to make it a goal of mine to find loopholes in that site and put the band page back up just to frustrate their respective "web teams." Tom and his band of mercenaries have really pissed off the wrong people now. He is going down. Mark my words, Im going to finish that site. Ill site every single member for sexual harrassment if i have to. I now plan on tattling on every band page and telling TOm it isnt the official page, therefore no one can have thier pretty little Chamillionaire songs anymore. Sorry Tom, you pissed off the wrong person, go fuck yourself.

clothing said...

Very good site. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

My space is for mindless narcissistic idiots who are diluted enogh to believe that any one besides themselves give a fuck how many "friends" (if you call postage-stamp size photo's and glittery icons your friends) you have or what your favorite t.v. show is or which super hero you are most like. My Space is the internet's answer to teeny bopper, shallow, girls pasting up pictures of Hillary Duff or their favorite EMO band on their locker doors to express their spoon-fed self images. If you need valditation of your intests in becoming a porn star or a vampire or you want to feel like you have a life by messaging other people who have no lives then go on my space and get yourself a heesy profile that brings innumerable viruses into your computer.

Anonymous said...

I have an account in myspace and I've been there for about 9 months now, but I don't really understand it. I know I'm supossed to make friends but the whole idea seems extremely ridiculous. I thought it would make me "cooler" because everybody I know loves myspace but then I found out that you are in some kind of competition, you need to have more friends, you need videos, music, ornaments and everything; honestly I'd rather spend my free time doing sudokus and puzzles.
I still have that account but I don't use it anymore, they send me messages and invitations that I will never read. My computer gets slow when I'm there, it's better not to use it at all. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks myspace is stupid.

___TONY___ said...

yALL FUCKIN STUPID...LMAO DON'T HATE BECAUSE NOBODY WANTS TO TALK TO YALLS ugly ASSES ON THERE..LOL FRIGGIN LITTLE KIDS HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THEN DISS A WEBSITE. GET YA ASSES OUT IN THE REAL WORLD.. FUCKIN LAMERS..LMAO YOU CAN FIND ME ON YAHOO @ err0r_syst3m_shutd0wn feel free to message me.. ha ha

Anonymous said...

im with tony...dont be stupid you guys are fucking bitches just because no one wants to talk to you because you are ugly losers doesnt mean you should be jealous of people that arent. if you really have something better to do with your lives, then why are you making anti-myspace sites?

hahahahahaha! get a life you fucking losers! XD

Anonymous said...

Someone's jealous...
I like myspace no offense, that's how I find my friends. You can edit the page and I personally...if I'm hacked, I have back ups. A smart web designer have those.
And I haven't seen any better invention since sliced bread.

If you're so concerned about making mypsace "crap" then why don't you go make something WAYYY better.

Nick said...

Well, to "make something WAYYY better" implies that it is something similar. Why would anyone who is against MySpace build something just like it? Their goal is to downplay and hopefully lead to a downfall of MySpace, not create an alternate version of it. So that just wouldn't make sense.

As for the "if you really have something better to do with your lives, then why are you making anti-myspace sites?" This is something that actually has a purpose. It does put out some information and shows a point of view that millions of people hold. Not to mention that a blog is much simpler and requires less work than a MySpace. So since it wouldn't need as much time, they still could get on with lives. MySpace on the other hand has people on for hours a day spending time over and over again rebuilding the look of their "site" (which really isn't a "site" so much as a "page" as most don't leave the main profile in most cases. Sites actually require some base knowledge of coding and organization to build decent ones).

I assume that all of you who attacked this page are big MySpace fans and users. Why would you entered a page that was entirely against it? Maybe wanting to see the reasons given, which, if it was so great, you wouldn't doubt it. Not to mention you turn around and do that same thing. You bash this page and its makers with comments against them, except for the fact that you give only insults while sites like some of those linked on this page give proof like security flaws, loopholes, pointless features, and mistakes in construction.

Anonymous said...

the petition has been deleted?

Anonymous said...

Let the kids do what they want. Yeah, it's poorly constructed and it can be very dangerous.. but despite being mostly filled with crap, there is some good music. I like being able to listen to unsigned bands, end of.

Luke C said...

What the hell is Myspace?